we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We left an ass print on the piano.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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