Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
