I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
