the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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