I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
