Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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