Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
