HIV tests are more positive than that guy
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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