Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
