Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
