party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
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My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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