I need help removing her.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
