i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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