Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we made out on top of his cat.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
