Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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