If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
