I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
