This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
