allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
