Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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