I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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