our cab driver is having phone sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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