make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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