I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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