Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
