Only a mothe r could love this liver
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just found a bag of teeth...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
