I hate your face
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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