Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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