is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
