He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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