Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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