I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
