You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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