So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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