Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
