The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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