im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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