can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Couch. On fire.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
