your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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