True but thats because hes a fetus.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
