We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
