Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
