Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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