We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
