Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
last night I used snow as a chaser
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
