how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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