where does the pee come out of this thing
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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