Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
barbara walters just said penis...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
