well I can't set my house on fire every night
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
