Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
