Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize