Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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