Nicole vs. Life
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
