dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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