not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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