I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I could fuck to npr.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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