so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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