Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
