I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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